April 11

We all stare at the space between. 

Sit, Waiting for the next breath not to hurt so much. 

For it not to be real. 

But it is real. The pain and the sorrow. 

The grief and the finality of it creeps in. 

There are millions of tiny moments in every second, where thoughts of him cross my mind and I feel my throat tighten and my eyes fill with tears. 

I know one day it won’t hurt so much, but these days the sadness is so very present. 

Anyone who knew my Dad, knew what it felt like to be instantly loved and welcomed. His hugs changed lives. The warmth of them. 

He was always so calm, steady, strong for me and for us all. 

His wishes are to be cremated. 

We will not be having a funeral service for him in the coming weeks. 

We will wait, until the sadness is replaced by happier memories, and the gratitude of having a man like him in our lives for any amount of time, so widely loved by so so many is the focus for us all. 

And one day later this year, when the weather is warm and our hearts have found their way back to memories of him that come with laughter and not tears…..

…. that’s when we will have a party. A celebration of Scott and everything he was to everyone. 

When we are ready for that, We will tell everyone to come. 

Have a Rum in his name. And truly celebrate him. 

But right now. We take the needed quietness for what it is for. A time to reflect and heal.